Right This Way Please. . .

Getting people around you to do certain things can become an easy task depending on which way you choose to approach the certain situation. Getting the group of friends your hanging around with to conform to a certain genre of music, fashion and language comes fairly easy as well. Often the group of friends all enjoy the same things, interests and activities. High school is where your main group of friends is formed, and we only hope they stick with us throughout college. When our friends leave for college and they in turn adapt to their new lifestyle, interests often change.

During high school my group of friends was solid and jam packed with different personalities. It quickly came to an end and we all aspired to head in different directions. We all promised to stay in touch but with busy schedules its become difficult to maintain the relationship. For those of us who stayed, maintaining the relationship was key in order to survive boredom. The summer after high school came and went and most of us decided what was around the corner.

The group dissolved and it was only a few of us that were still close to each other. I began full time school and work. Most followed and enrolled in school and found jobs. We all were living it up. We were going to do exactly what we had planned, to attend school, make some cash and eventually prepare to move elsewhere.

This was all going to plan when one of our friends just stood out, and seemed to be going the wrong way. He was stubborn and did his own thing. He didn't have a job, and his parents really didn't say much about it. Jerry didn't apply for school because he said, "he could not afford it." I assured him that neither could I, but no matter what I was not backing down. His main interest was art. Jerry was incredibly talented, and there was not a person who knew him, that didn't know that. For some reason though he believed that success was going to come to him. We would have deep, hour long conversations about our futures, and the past but more importantly the present. As soon as I would begin to make comments as to when he was going to look for a job, immediate frustration was obvious. I even offered my time to help him apply for school. His other friends made comments which only made things worse. Jerry's brothers tried to encourage him, along with his parents. there was only so much time I could spend on Jerry, talking about his own life.

Our lives belong to us. We can do whatever we choose to do with our lives. I cant believe I was watching my friend sleep away his days. Although Jerry didn't care about himself, there was no way I was going to do the same. I began to stop talking. it was time for my actions to speak much louder.

When we would hang out he would ask how things were going. I could do nothing but tell the truth and I expressed how great they were. Because I was working so much, I was able to start saving up for an apartment. We talked about the places I had been looking at and he couldn't believe that I was going to be able to afford such a nice place. I made it clear, that if you work hard, you really do get to play hard. We talked about school and my grades and the overall experience. Everything was going according to plan and I was loving live and its crazy experiences. When it was enough about me and on to him, the mood quickly changed. We both knew what he was up to and there was not much to say. He did show me some new pieces he had been working on and of course I was impressed. I did have to ask him, "What good is your art, if the only eyes that experience them, are your own?" He pondered the question, I am sure of it. I just needed him to feel selfish for a moment. I needed to help him understand that the world is in our hands. Jerry just need needed to be shown the price and the end of the hardwork. I really believe he needed to see someone else, who grew up with him, "go first."

There was no way my words were going to physically pick up this man and push him toward his future. The only way I was going to get Jerry to listen was, to just show him what he could obtain. I guess that actions do speak louder than words. My motivation was sparked when I was ten. The life I had, was a life I refused to live for the rest of my life. I was able to change it, and I was going to. I was already set on giving myself everything I wanted and most importantly an education. Jerry didn't have the same issues motivating him, but I knew we both wanted the same thing.

The only way I was going to get this guy to listen was to just do it with my actions. I had to just lead by example. Most often it is the strongest impact. Words go in one ear, and out the other. When I look up to someone, I look up to the things they have done in their life. This process can be much slower but the experience is greater. I rather have my friend watch me and become egger to gain and obtain the things i have, rather than give up on him. Whether I was in the right or wrong for doing it this way didn't matter to me. I just could not let someone fall. If Jerry could learn from me, or it was the tangible he needed than that's the way it is. Allowing a friend to do nothing would have hurt me much more.

FINAL SUMATION:
IF YOU CANT DO IT WITH WORDS, DO IT WITH YOUR ACTIONS.

To Those of You Who Teach and To Those of You Who Desire a Degree:

http://cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2010/03/04/natpkg.education.protests.early.cnn

I am unsure of how many of you were aware of what the significance of March 4th 2010. Many students and teachers protested due to pay cuts, furloughs, layoffs, increases in tuition and decreases in Financial Aid. Wanting a quality education is getting much harder to afford and the quality of the education will decrease rapidly. Many more students are being put in classes. The ration from teacher to students is ridiculous and ultimately can effects the way some people learn. Teachers are quickly rushing through topics in class. Many campuses across the country are suffering from a decrease in classes per week.

According to an article on UW System News.com, "$174 million in cuts will invariably hurt the education and service we provide to our 173,000 students, and our ability to help reinvigorate Wisconsin’s economy.”

Reading this sparked and began to fuel mixed emotions about college. In no way would this make me stop furthering my education but it concerned the quality of my education in the future to come. Applying for Financial Aid and Loans is a constant read, sign, send and receive chain of paperwork and often takes months. We only hope that when we receive that check it covers enough we can afford. With the economy not looking up anytime soon, and jobs decreasing in employment and hours how will our paychecks pay for these large increases in tuition?

I could only sit back on Thursdays classes and observe everyone's typical expressions and conversations. I did not hear any hallway chatter on the topic, nor did any of my professors take the time to speak of this current educational epidemic. Probably because they couldn't spare the time in their tight schedules. Whatever the case, our brilliant professors may lose jobs, and our eager sponge like students many not have enough cash flow to afford rising costs.

Can I get an Amen?

The Only Thing I Want From You.

Making friends and meeting people was never a difficult thing for me. I remember constant changed assigned seating for me in class. It honestly did not matter where the teacher put me, I managed to get the life story from every person that was around me. I don't know what it was about people that fascinated me. I really think its because we are all raised differently, and we all go through different things naturally in life. I am pretty easy to talk to, and often respond strongly with advice. I am usually the one who sits and listens to every little thing you have to say, and try to relate to every emotion you are feeling. I am not the one to judge and people know this. Naturally I'm called when something is wrong.

Through various parties I met a girl who looked exactly like Katy Perry(you know...the "I Kissed a Girl" song.) Just by looking at her, you could tell that she was very free spirited. She was always laughing and bouncing off the walls. It almost made you dizzy just by watching her complete a task. She would often begin five new tasks before even completing the first. All in all getting to know her was awesome. She loved rock and roll, concerts and hanging out with cool people. But when the doors close behind us, and our day has come close to its end, the secrets behind that door are far more serious than presumed.

I never understood what kept this girl so energetic and constantly running around. I asked one day, and she whipped out her Saboxone prescription. It was used for treatment for opioid addiction. She said that on days she moved slower than other it was because she forgot to take it. I knew she went through rehab, did the local NA/AA programs Sheboygan has to offer. It seemed like it was working. I attended for support a few times. I just wanted my friend to stay clean. At this point in our friendship, we shared many stories and many of hers were crazy adventures on getting high, shooting up, stealing from jobs, selling her parents things, fights with the most intense endings. She sounded like she was glad to be done with her past.

Except it was the one thing that hunted her day in and day out. That high from heroine was all she would think about. The sobriety lasted a while it really did, all it took was one serious situation for her to fall back down. Her boyfriend broke up with her, and she just couldn't seem to find the joy life had to offer. I would talk about religion with her and really shared personal stories on how I had finally discovered self love. I knew inside though, that everything I had ever told her, never sunk in. I knew the behavior of an addict, short conversations, eye contact was never made, little dumb lies, long sleeved shirts, constant "illness", depression, overall appearance was just haggard.

We had worked together for quite sometime. When I started I was assistant manager, and quickly became manager. She was hired as a sales associate and later moved to assistant manager. The line between Management and friends was never crossed. We maintained our professionalism always.

We were hosting an event at work on a particular Saturday and when I arrived to work she stood out the most. Her face was pale and looked worn. Her eyes were extremely glossy, and her pupils were extremely tiny. I approached and asked her if she was messed up. She looked at me with panic and fright and said, "no!" She was avoiding the question as well as me in general. I knew she was high though, I knew the process. Her break came around and for some weird reason she was in the bathroom for fifteen minutes then exited through the fire exit. I locked the door and called her and let her know I locked it and to come threw the front. It was procedure that I inspect purses upon arrival and dismissal. On her way in she was panicked and frantic. She looked at me and said, "I just puked in my purse!" I honestly thought she was avoiding the search, which made me think she stole something. I told her I was still going to have to search her stuff. We ran to the back room and she began screaming, "WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE ME? I JUST HAD TO PUKE IN MY PURSE! EVERYONE IN THE PLACE WAS STARING AT ME!" I had to tell her to calm down, I just stared at her with complete fear. I looked at her and said, "Shelly, YOUR FUCKED UP, AREN'T YOU?" In her panicked voiced she repeatedly said, "NO!" I put on some of our sanitation gloves, and began digging in her vomit filled purse. I came to a pocket, and unzipped it. Inside I found something wrapped in the blue gloves I was wearing. It was her needle filled with heroin and a spoon. My friend relapsed and was again a heroin addict.

I disposed of the drug and broke the needle in half. She didn't know what was next, she looked to me for comfort. All I had inside was disgust and hatred. People are born into the world starving, with diseases, and abusive parents. She was born into a life of luxury with loving friends and family, yet she chose misery, and death. I told her to leave for the day, I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

I could have called the cops, or her parents or my boss but I did neither. l let friendship cross the line. I felt sympathy, I wanted to help her, I wanted her to think about her life. I went to her house a day later, I expressed how I felt. I told her she was selfish, and that I could no longer care for her because she didn't even care for herself. She lied to me, and I told her I would no longer feel comfortable working with her. We both cried, and just looked at each other. I gave her the option to quit and give me her keys or I could tell our boss. She begged that I let her keep her job, but I just couldn't. I could never live with the fear of coming to work and finding her shooting up in the back room, or having her steal from work to support her habit, like she had in the past. Instead she gave me her keys and I left.

Its the day I had to learn that I could never save the world, that I was never going to be able to trust people and the day I had to let my friend choose to die. I was not going to be able to let her continue to work for me, or continue to support her habit. Leaving was painful for me, I somewhat felt responsible for her future if it would be fatal. I could only think of her last words that she said to me, "I guess you just have to want to quit and I don't feel like that yet." She expressed to me she didn't want the best for herself. She wanted the dark, lonely cold road. But the only thing I wanted for my friend was for her to appreciate life. To fully understand the happiness in the natural world around us without substance abuse. To just love life and to just love herself. It was to late though, the drug had taken my friend, her health, her personalty, and her beauty.

The only thing I wanted from my friend was for her to stay clean. That's all.

I want MTV

I always wanted to be as cool as my eldest sister Erica. She always had a large group of friends over. They shopped around for the trendiest clothes and always used the hippest slang. I of course did the annoying little sister thing and mimicked everything she did. Music was one of my sisters biggest influences. I had no idea what music was, or what kinds of it there where. My only source of music was the radio and that was always moms choice to and from school and anywhere else we would travel to. Until I watched T.V with my older sister and music videos were playing on MTV.

It was from her that at the age of Ten I already knew the words to “California Love“, by Tu Pac. At that young age I became very fond of this television channel. Throughout my first year watching and following this program I came to know artists like, Sublime, 311, The Fugees, Dave Matthews band, and bands like Oasis and people like Jay Z, and Michael Jackson. I listened to everything from the rap genre to hard rock. Staying tuned in with MTV allowed me to discover new songs and videos that came out. I memorized lyrics of the latest jams, and was always up to par on new bands and music. It was awesome, it was like a rebellion rally and a rock show in my room twenty four seven.

What I quickly learned is that MTV told me what to listen to. I didn’t get to choose. But in the midst of the late 90’s I developed a passion for punk rock. I was used to coming home from school at three o clock and turning on the TV and with immense pressure I held down that volume button. It was very different that day though, it was no longer music videos it was and episode of the popular show Real World. A show were six strangers get stuck in a house to live with each other through the “struggles” of everyday life. This program gave me one on one tips on what the big kids do. The only struggles I understood from that show was to not date someone that is your room mate and how to avoid public humiliation. It was ridiculous that they could really show this crap on TV. My mom didn’t know what I was watching, she worked third shift and was sleeping when most TV time was done.

Instead of cool new music being promoted to the many willing listeners, TV Fads were being endorsed. The coolest ways to dress, how to break dance, how to party, how to get a sexual transmitted disease in one night, is being shown for the large population of youth to get a glimpse of. Channels like MTV and VH1 were no longer resources for good tunes. They were brain washing my friends into crappy rap music and baggy clothes with extremely gelled hair. I could not believe that this hypocritical named channel was still a big hit. Music television is down the drain. Its now a purely entertainment. MTV used to promote activism and censorship but now all this pop culture channel wants us to do is sit here, and become hypnotized into watching someone ruin all self respect. One hour there is a program on called, “True Life” which follows around people with certain issues and how they face situations with there illness. They explain how to get help and steps to take to not live a life guided my drugs and alcohol. Then a few hours later a reality TV show called, “The Jersey Shore” is being played at least three times a day. Showing the lives of six young adults and their wild antics at bars, along with violent fights, foul language and crude humor.

I just don’t understand what this channel is trying to stand for. Music is a large impact on a large population of this large world. Bringing someone to a sense of peace with sounds of different instruments or different pitches in our vocals can influence us far more in our futures than the ridiculous behavior of young “adults,” and alcohol. I don’t want MTV, what I want here is, Music Television.