"No, Sorry, I Cannot Service You. "

Guaranteed that if I was the owner of a restaurant, this is exactly what my kitchen staff would be expected to wear. I would some how find a way to get around every fire, medical etc. hazard these suits would cause. I have not been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I do not believe I should be or that I have have previous issues, but the disgust brought upon by co-works has brought me to this level.

Grandma having all the special connections she has, helped me get a job as a busser. I was working at a restaurant cleaning tables and keeping things fully stocked. I loved the job, cleaning was easy and just doing what I was told. Everyone failed to mention that Monday and Tuesday was always slow and the rest of the week there was constant traffic.

There was something major I was lacking, the fact that I needed to pick up the pace, and keep it going. When I am being watched by more that 3 people, I become extremely nervous. I begin to think about the worst possible situations. I picture it before it happens, an extreme dramatic attack. Possibly from this girl that has been giving me the stink eye. Or a possible robbery. I know this is kind of weird, but I have been in some pretty messed up situations. I am also constantly looking around at my surroundings and being aware who and what is around me. I also become clumsy and cause a scene anyway by spilling something major like salsa or tripping over myself, or even bumping into things.

I quickly clean the mess and escape to the kitchen. Now the head cook is a really well known respected woman. My Grandma specifically told me to, "NEVER EVER EVER, talk back to Margie" My Grandma used extreme caution in her eye contact. She knew, that I didn't fully understand when it was time to stop talking. Getting slapped across the face because of smart remark was common to me. But when I spilled the salsa for the tenth time in a week she was fed up and I understood why. I had to take the embarrassment, every time she pointed out my mistakes. She was just really mean about it. I was told by the head bartender, "she made grown men cry!" Margie just really told it like it was, with absolute no sympathy. Because you would just not learn that way. Lucky she tended to leave early so her wrath was only for a few hours.

It was then that I got to see the real thing. I really want to avoid going into detail. The cooks took short cuts in making things. No hair nets were used. There was a separate room where pots and pans where kept. Often I would have to run in there and see flies on the pans and I just prayed they would wash them before they used them. It really was not extreme behavior like spitting or inhumane things like that it was just not up to par with what I expect when I eat out. Witnessing these things just made me paranoid about my future experiences.

I love when a counter smells like Clorox. This may be an exaggeration, but I expect everything to be spotless. We all know that this may impossible. I just get really shocked when someone is puking for days on end because of bad food they were served. Are places trying to save money and save food after the expiration date? Is meat and poultry kept at standard and expected temperature? I know not every place follows the precise rules day after day, but I sure do expect that.

I just am uncomfortable with the fact that I can't see who is handling my food and what they could be doing to it. I guess this situation depends on the person but I rather make my own food so I know what's in it. As a first job I am glad it was at a restaurant. At times it was fun, and nerve-wrecking but the experience was an eye opener. Hopefully owners have great judgment and a well supervised and clean atmosphere to keep crazy customers like me at ease.

420

As for many of us, on April 20th we went along on all of our normal activities and schedules for a typical Tuesday. While thousands of other college students and many others took part in, "420" which celebrates Marijuana and promotes and hopes for government acceptance. The original meaning behind statement came from a group of San Fransisco bay High Schoolers would come together and smoke in the 1970's. This became a popular term and was then highly promoted in High Times Magazine.

Many Television networks dedicated their entire day just to celebrate, "420." Channels like G4 educated their viewers by giving the history of Marijuana, its causes and why, as well as its effects and why. They traveld to places like Amsterdam where Marijuana shops are legal and give the experience and traditions in Holland. They educated us on devices that are less harsh on the lungs like vaporizers. These methods of using Marijuana are becoming more popular among cancer patients. According to The Natural Treatment for Common Health Problems, "In vaporization, the active elements of marijuana are released or turned into a vapor without combustion. This stops the release of toxins in marijuana smoke. This means that medical marijuana patients can avoid the adverse effects of smoking with the help of a vaporizer."

They also humored us as well by playing popular movies like, "Half Baked, Super High Me, and Dazed and Confused, just to name a few. They had guest appearances like Snoop Dogg, Cheech and Chong who are known for their Marijuana use. They, themselves depict there recreational hobbies in Comedy Movies like, "Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke" and pictures that suggest Marijuana use. G4 also showed intense grow labs, many that are legal in Northern California. They also showed Law Enforcement catching on to outdoor illegal cultivation in places like natural forests. The Police and Investigators finds these plants and cut them down and eventually burn them destroying them all completely.

While I was amused by rituals involving marijuana, I wondered how the legalization process was coming along. Currently there are fourteen states that have enacted laws that legalized the use of medicinal Marijuana. There are twelve states that allow up to eight ounces, Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Main, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, Rhode Island and Vermont. Washington and Oregon allow twenty-four usable ounces. In all states the user must obtain an id card. The identification card is prescribed by a doctor for the use of Medicinal Marijuana.

However here in Wisconsin on Marijuana is still illegal. On April 22, 2010 The proposal to legalize is not, "one of the top prioritizes" the Legislature will take up. "While advocates for legalizing it had hoped the bill would pass under support from Democrats who control the Legislature, the proposal never made it up for a vote in either the Senate or Assembly." Unfortuitly for people in Wisconsin they will have to keep trying.

The masses of students on capital property, lighting up and blazing is quite a site to see. Police stand around making sure crowds stay in control and observe thousands smoking out of bongs, pipes, and joints. You can hear Bob Marley in the distant sound waves and through the ear phones of many. The Rastafarian culture becomes known. The Colors Red, Yellow and Green are worn on beenes, or on t-shirts and wrist bands and bandannas. Part of the Rasta Culture is to smoke Ganja its considered, "Sacrament." Ganja cleans the body and mind, heals the soul, exalts the consciousness, facilitates peacefulness, brings pleasure, and brings them closer to God or Jah.

In 1936 "Reefer Madness", scared parents by depicting Marijuana as a deviant social problem and if their children smoked pot they would, kill, rape, and eventually die. Through the years people have seen the growth and acceptance of Marijuana. Around the world it is part of rituals and religious ceremonies, or in pot shops for sale in food and in smokable forms. According to Get the Facts on the Drug War Facts, "Tabacco is the leading cause of death. This legal substance took 435,000 lives in the year 2000. Marijuana still at 0."

Weather you decided to partake it the festivities, or ignored them the Legalization train for Medicinal Marijuana use is rapidly increasing force. It will be interested to see where it will be in a few years.

Facebook vs Myspace

I remember the first time I created my account for Myspace. It was a series of questions, typical for signing up for something like this. I was asked about age, race, sex and marital status. It became more personal with questions asking my favorite books, movies and activities. I put up any random picture and background. I was all ready to begin accepting friend requests. A short time after I was finally comfortable with Myspace, when a new site came out called Facebook. I honestly was not interested in even signing up for one, but was influenced because it had more capabilities than Myspace.

Word of mouth helped these two online networking search engines gain a whole new community. Today more than 400 million active users belong to Facebook, and Myspace with only 125 million users. These websites give opportunities to people by allowing them share important events, broadcast personal music, and can even help find jobs. These websites come in different languages and allows an open door for communication. 70% of the users that belong to Facebook are international users. These two websites help communicate important things that happen around the world. From the touch of your phone you are able to know and see what is going on in another country half way around the world. These are just a few of the good things that comes from inventions like this.

However my personal experience with both of these websites was somewhat close to pointless. I quickly learned that most of the people on my friends list where there for a different reason than I was. Everyday that logged into Facebook and Myspace I encountered, underage parties being promoted, half naked pictures of girls at those parties, along with the kids that were passed out and drawn on. On the status updates I got to read and learn about personal issues, being exposed via internet and in an embarrassing manor. I noticed more humiliation amongst people in my age range than ever before. People would put the who, what, where and when in their status updates without even thinking about the damage that it could do. When the security setting are not set to your preference, your profile is allowed to be looked at by complete strangers. Not only does the danger of stalking alarm me from this website but its social tend dices of cliques continues. It gets more vicious online. Its not a face to face encounter, instead its behind a computer in the comfort of your home. I have read personal sexual conversations that were created to destroy someones reputation. Sexual predators are now allowed to have an even more secretive demeanor online. At times I would just read complete bashing of individuals. All of these reasons and a few more have just turned me off of websites like this.

All though the positive aspects were not fully discussed, they really do out weigh the negative. For the communication and networking aspect, its fantastic. I feel that people really can turn something positive into complete garbage. It is most likely the maturity level of my peers. I just don't have the time or interest to read about nonsense, especially at the expense of someones feelings.

Sheboygan Sucks?

The City of Sheboygan has many attractions including, The Blue Harbor water resort, The John Michael Kohler Art Center, The Stefanie Weill Center for Performing Arts, along with the many shops and galleries. Walking down eighths streets bright lights on a Saturday night and scoping out what it has to offer is a must. However not all of these places may attract or give people what they are looking for.

Sheboygan has what you would call, "natural beauty." Our cities edge is Lake Michigan which comes along with two miles of public beach. We also have many natural parks around Sheboygan. They are great for hikes and bike rides, picnics and even camping.

For me, physical activity is a must. I do enjoy long walks and bike rides but that does not quite hit the spot for me. About two years ago I was introduced to a sport similar to surfing and skateboarding called, "longboardring." Longboards are about a foot longer than the standard skateboard. Obvious differences the longboard has compared to a skateboard is that its wheelbase is bigger, the wheels are softer and overall its ride is smooth and can cover way more ground than a skateboard can.

Its an awesome source for transportation, its great exercise and its a great way to see nature and explore this, "little" city, by foot and board. Longboarding and nicely paved hills are best friends. After the initial fear of losing control and possibly death, well, " the juice is worth the squeeze." With proper safety gear and practice longboarding really is not hard. This activity is increasing rapidly in the Sheboygan Scene. Revolution Skate Shop has doubled its sales in Longboards compared to last year said, owner Mike Miller. His team of employee's gets excited when they see a group of young boys and girls eager to try them out. They let anyone, at their own risk of course, try them out right in the shop. But the real experience is when you conquer your fears and master the board.

Common places to cruise the streets, would most favorably be the lake front. It begins at Vollrath park. There is a large nicely paved walk/ride way that extends for miles. There is one major hill as well, which is very fun and adrenaline pumping. The rest of the lakefront is smooth sailing with minor inclines. You can even continue on the boardwalk and eventually just go where the road takes you. If you do enjoy areas with less traffic flow from vehicles and people I suggest areas like Black river, Terre Andre, and our scenic country roads.

This is a sport that can cause serious injury, but with proper practice and appropriate knowledge of your surroundings you really see Sheboygan from a different perspective. I usually go with just my I pod and a few dollars in case I get thirsty somewhere. The experience is amazing. I was once skating through Black River and a pack of dear just right ran all together just a mere twelve feet in front of me. The deer didn't even acknowledge my presence, but the sight of the sun setting through the trees and deers running wild was amazing. The country roads are dead on Sundays and the roads are mine. With a group of friends or alone this sport is exhilarating. Its worth trying and once you have the hang of it, I guarantee you wont stop.

Definitely be aware of safety before just purchasing one of these boards, that usually goes for one-hundred and fifty dollars. There are Laws against skateboarding in certain areas, mainly because of the damage that goes with skateboarding. The social stereotype is way different compared to skateboarders. Skateboarders are usually known to damage railings, benches and public parks etc. People can typically see that longboarding wont cause property damage so the acceptance of this sport is happening. I was only stopped twice by the Sheboygan Area Police Department. They stopped a large group and myself because they wanted to make sure we were staying out of trouble, and secondly I was told to stay on the sidewalk rather than the street. I fear sidewalks due to their unpredictability. Lighting during the night is scarce in certain areas and sidewalks contain huge cracks, and often cement pieces can rise adruptly which can be to hard for the board to go over, if you are going slower. It can cause serious injury, so I would rather risk the citation than my bones. Cruising the road also gives you a march larger area to work with and allows you to carve (reduces speed, looks like a weaving motion) , cruise (normal riding around), slide (done with proper gear such as gloves, done by crouching down and grabbing the front of your board with one hand and the your body is leaned back as your hand hits the pavement you do a full spin around and eventually come to a stop) and bomb (referred to as going down a big hill that can cause extreme speed).

During the summer if your looking for something to do, definitely check this out. If it seems to physical and the chance of injury is too large than even a walk by the beach with give you a great experience visually of what some of these Longboards look like and what they can be used for.

Right This Way Please. . .

Getting people around you to do certain things can become an easy task depending on which way you choose to approach the certain situation. Getting the group of friends your hanging around with to conform to a certain genre of music, fashion and language comes fairly easy as well. Often the group of friends all enjoy the same things, interests and activities. High school is where your main group of friends is formed, and we only hope they stick with us throughout college. When our friends leave for college and they in turn adapt to their new lifestyle, interests often change.

During high school my group of friends was solid and jam packed with different personalities. It quickly came to an end and we all aspired to head in different directions. We all promised to stay in touch but with busy schedules its become difficult to maintain the relationship. For those of us who stayed, maintaining the relationship was key in order to survive boredom. The summer after high school came and went and most of us decided what was around the corner.

The group dissolved and it was only a few of us that were still close to each other. I began full time school and work. Most followed and enrolled in school and found jobs. We all were living it up. We were going to do exactly what we had planned, to attend school, make some cash and eventually prepare to move elsewhere.

This was all going to plan when one of our friends just stood out, and seemed to be going the wrong way. He was stubborn and did his own thing. He didn't have a job, and his parents really didn't say much about it. Jerry didn't apply for school because he said, "he could not afford it." I assured him that neither could I, but no matter what I was not backing down. His main interest was art. Jerry was incredibly talented, and there was not a person who knew him, that didn't know that. For some reason though he believed that success was going to come to him. We would have deep, hour long conversations about our futures, and the past but more importantly the present. As soon as I would begin to make comments as to when he was going to look for a job, immediate frustration was obvious. I even offered my time to help him apply for school. His other friends made comments which only made things worse. Jerry's brothers tried to encourage him, along with his parents. there was only so much time I could spend on Jerry, talking about his own life.

Our lives belong to us. We can do whatever we choose to do with our lives. I cant believe I was watching my friend sleep away his days. Although Jerry didn't care about himself, there was no way I was going to do the same. I began to stop talking. it was time for my actions to speak much louder.

When we would hang out he would ask how things were going. I could do nothing but tell the truth and I expressed how great they were. Because I was working so much, I was able to start saving up for an apartment. We talked about the places I had been looking at and he couldn't believe that I was going to be able to afford such a nice place. I made it clear, that if you work hard, you really do get to play hard. We talked about school and my grades and the overall experience. Everything was going according to plan and I was loving live and its crazy experiences. When it was enough about me and on to him, the mood quickly changed. We both knew what he was up to and there was not much to say. He did show me some new pieces he had been working on and of course I was impressed. I did have to ask him, "What good is your art, if the only eyes that experience them, are your own?" He pondered the question, I am sure of it. I just needed him to feel selfish for a moment. I needed to help him understand that the world is in our hands. Jerry just need needed to be shown the price and the end of the hardwork. I really believe he needed to see someone else, who grew up with him, "go first."

There was no way my words were going to physically pick up this man and push him toward his future. The only way I was going to get Jerry to listen was, to just show him what he could obtain. I guess that actions do speak louder than words. My motivation was sparked when I was ten. The life I had, was a life I refused to live for the rest of my life. I was able to change it, and I was going to. I was already set on giving myself everything I wanted and most importantly an education. Jerry didn't have the same issues motivating him, but I knew we both wanted the same thing.

The only way I was going to get this guy to listen was to just do it with my actions. I had to just lead by example. Most often it is the strongest impact. Words go in one ear, and out the other. When I look up to someone, I look up to the things they have done in their life. This process can be much slower but the experience is greater. I rather have my friend watch me and become egger to gain and obtain the things i have, rather than give up on him. Whether I was in the right or wrong for doing it this way didn't matter to me. I just could not let someone fall. If Jerry could learn from me, or it was the tangible he needed than that's the way it is. Allowing a friend to do nothing would have hurt me much more.

FINAL SUMATION:
IF YOU CANT DO IT WITH WORDS, DO IT WITH YOUR ACTIONS.

To Those of You Who Teach and To Those of You Who Desire a Degree:

http://cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2010/03/04/natpkg.education.protests.early.cnn

I am unsure of how many of you were aware of what the significance of March 4th 2010. Many students and teachers protested due to pay cuts, furloughs, layoffs, increases in tuition and decreases in Financial Aid. Wanting a quality education is getting much harder to afford and the quality of the education will decrease rapidly. Many more students are being put in classes. The ration from teacher to students is ridiculous and ultimately can effects the way some people learn. Teachers are quickly rushing through topics in class. Many campuses across the country are suffering from a decrease in classes per week.

According to an article on UW System News.com, "$174 million in cuts will invariably hurt the education and service we provide to our 173,000 students, and our ability to help reinvigorate Wisconsin’s economy.”

Reading this sparked and began to fuel mixed emotions about college. In no way would this make me stop furthering my education but it concerned the quality of my education in the future to come. Applying for Financial Aid and Loans is a constant read, sign, send and receive chain of paperwork and often takes months. We only hope that when we receive that check it covers enough we can afford. With the economy not looking up anytime soon, and jobs decreasing in employment and hours how will our paychecks pay for these large increases in tuition?

I could only sit back on Thursdays classes and observe everyone's typical expressions and conversations. I did not hear any hallway chatter on the topic, nor did any of my professors take the time to speak of this current educational epidemic. Probably because they couldn't spare the time in their tight schedules. Whatever the case, our brilliant professors may lose jobs, and our eager sponge like students many not have enough cash flow to afford rising costs.

Can I get an Amen?

The Only Thing I Want From You.

Making friends and meeting people was never a difficult thing for me. I remember constant changed assigned seating for me in class. It honestly did not matter where the teacher put me, I managed to get the life story from every person that was around me. I don't know what it was about people that fascinated me. I really think its because we are all raised differently, and we all go through different things naturally in life. I am pretty easy to talk to, and often respond strongly with advice. I am usually the one who sits and listens to every little thing you have to say, and try to relate to every emotion you are feeling. I am not the one to judge and people know this. Naturally I'm called when something is wrong.

Through various parties I met a girl who looked exactly like Katy Perry(you know...the "I Kissed a Girl" song.) Just by looking at her, you could tell that she was very free spirited. She was always laughing and bouncing off the walls. It almost made you dizzy just by watching her complete a task. She would often begin five new tasks before even completing the first. All in all getting to know her was awesome. She loved rock and roll, concerts and hanging out with cool people. But when the doors close behind us, and our day has come close to its end, the secrets behind that door are far more serious than presumed.

I never understood what kept this girl so energetic and constantly running around. I asked one day, and she whipped out her Saboxone prescription. It was used for treatment for opioid addiction. She said that on days she moved slower than other it was because she forgot to take it. I knew she went through rehab, did the local NA/AA programs Sheboygan has to offer. It seemed like it was working. I attended for support a few times. I just wanted my friend to stay clean. At this point in our friendship, we shared many stories and many of hers were crazy adventures on getting high, shooting up, stealing from jobs, selling her parents things, fights with the most intense endings. She sounded like she was glad to be done with her past.

Except it was the one thing that hunted her day in and day out. That high from heroine was all she would think about. The sobriety lasted a while it really did, all it took was one serious situation for her to fall back down. Her boyfriend broke up with her, and she just couldn't seem to find the joy life had to offer. I would talk about religion with her and really shared personal stories on how I had finally discovered self love. I knew inside though, that everything I had ever told her, never sunk in. I knew the behavior of an addict, short conversations, eye contact was never made, little dumb lies, long sleeved shirts, constant "illness", depression, overall appearance was just haggard.

We had worked together for quite sometime. When I started I was assistant manager, and quickly became manager. She was hired as a sales associate and later moved to assistant manager. The line between Management and friends was never crossed. We maintained our professionalism always.

We were hosting an event at work on a particular Saturday and when I arrived to work she stood out the most. Her face was pale and looked worn. Her eyes were extremely glossy, and her pupils were extremely tiny. I approached and asked her if she was messed up. She looked at me with panic and fright and said, "no!" She was avoiding the question as well as me in general. I knew she was high though, I knew the process. Her break came around and for some weird reason she was in the bathroom for fifteen minutes then exited through the fire exit. I locked the door and called her and let her know I locked it and to come threw the front. It was procedure that I inspect purses upon arrival and dismissal. On her way in she was panicked and frantic. She looked at me and said, "I just puked in my purse!" I honestly thought she was avoiding the search, which made me think she stole something. I told her I was still going to have to search her stuff. We ran to the back room and she began screaming, "WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE ME? I JUST HAD TO PUKE IN MY PURSE! EVERYONE IN THE PLACE WAS STARING AT ME!" I had to tell her to calm down, I just stared at her with complete fear. I looked at her and said, "Shelly, YOUR FUCKED UP, AREN'T YOU?" In her panicked voiced she repeatedly said, "NO!" I put on some of our sanitation gloves, and began digging in her vomit filled purse. I came to a pocket, and unzipped it. Inside I found something wrapped in the blue gloves I was wearing. It was her needle filled with heroin and a spoon. My friend relapsed and was again a heroin addict.

I disposed of the drug and broke the needle in half. She didn't know what was next, she looked to me for comfort. All I had inside was disgust and hatred. People are born into the world starving, with diseases, and abusive parents. She was born into a life of luxury with loving friends and family, yet she chose misery, and death. I told her to leave for the day, I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

I could have called the cops, or her parents or my boss but I did neither. l let friendship cross the line. I felt sympathy, I wanted to help her, I wanted her to think about her life. I went to her house a day later, I expressed how I felt. I told her she was selfish, and that I could no longer care for her because she didn't even care for herself. She lied to me, and I told her I would no longer feel comfortable working with her. We both cried, and just looked at each other. I gave her the option to quit and give me her keys or I could tell our boss. She begged that I let her keep her job, but I just couldn't. I could never live with the fear of coming to work and finding her shooting up in the back room, or having her steal from work to support her habit, like she had in the past. Instead she gave me her keys and I left.

Its the day I had to learn that I could never save the world, that I was never going to be able to trust people and the day I had to let my friend choose to die. I was not going to be able to let her continue to work for me, or continue to support her habit. Leaving was painful for me, I somewhat felt responsible for her future if it would be fatal. I could only think of her last words that she said to me, "I guess you just have to want to quit and I don't feel like that yet." She expressed to me she didn't want the best for herself. She wanted the dark, lonely cold road. But the only thing I wanted for my friend was for her to appreciate life. To fully understand the happiness in the natural world around us without substance abuse. To just love life and to just love herself. It was to late though, the drug had taken my friend, her health, her personalty, and her beauty.

The only thing I wanted from my friend was for her to stay clean. That's all.